A few weeks ago I turned 27. I’m officially in the late twenties now. Turning 27 used to be scary for me. A few years of even months ago, I’d feel nervous about the fact that I was turning 27. It used to be a huge number for me, so close to 30, the number that a lot of people use to mark a huge milestone in life. Looking back, it feels so silly to worry about a certain number. OK so I just turned 27, so what?
I used to ask my friends who are older than me how they feel upon turning a certain age. The reason being, probably, because I used to associate the age 27 as the age of being a real adult and therefore I should have had all my shits in place. That made me feel really nervous about reaching the big two-seven because to be honest, I didn’t think I have all my shits together yet.
Turning 27, I’m not exactly at the place where I had imagined I’d be. I had big dreams and detailed expectations about how I wanted to be at the age of 27. But a lot has happened ever since. Things change, life didn’t go as planned. That should freak me out. It used to. So, it came as quite a surprise for myself too, when I found myself being absolutely chill upon turning 27.
Yes, I just turned 27 and yes, it’s only 3 years away from the big three-o. No, I haven’t achieved everything I want to achieve by the time I get to 27 and no, I’m not even halfway to reach everything I want to reach by the time I get to 30. But should that matter? Those timelines, who set them?
I don’t know how and when, but I guess I’ve subconsciously decided that there are no timelines, those are merely arbitrary means I used to self-sabotage. It’s okay not to be in the place I wanted to be when I reach 27. It’s not the end of the world that I don’t have everything I wished to have when I turn 27. Life goes on and with everything that I have gone through, I learned a thing or two. I learned more about myself, what works for me, things I can tolerate and things I don’t. Life is not perfect and I couldn’t have it all so I have to learn to prioritize.
I guess that’s why I didn’t freak out when things aren’t in their place and I’m not who I wanted to turn out to be at 27. Because, who would have known, maybe this is how I need to be right now, learning to enjoy the ride and embrace the mess.