Why Not Ivy League?

This question has been bothering me for quite some time that I had to write it here just to let it out of my mind. Not only people who aren’t really fond of me, oblivious acquaintances, friends (although they never say it explicitly), my mom, but even I myself ask it sometimes. Even though the reason is sitting crystal clear in the back of my head sometimes I just can’t help to wonder too, you know. I mean yes, I got a pretty generous and prestigious scholarship and I can go to practically any university in the world that I wish so why didn’t I go for the ivy league? Was I scared? Was I not confident of my ability? Lots of those who wonder like to think that, of course. The answer is no. Never did I doubt my ability nor was I scared to apply to those prestigious schools. In fact, I wanted to. This might sound over-confident and borderline arrogant but I wasn’t scared to apply. Well yea, maybe the odds of me getting accepted to those top school was slim but once again I wasn’t afraid to apply. But I didn’t. I chose one university and never apply to other schools that might be more prestigious. I wasn’t playing safe or aiming low, I was being pragmatic (like how I always be, apparently).

Deciding to go to graduate school was not a simple matter. Of course on the outside it seems like it’s my way of getting out of the dreaded job I had, that I’d prefer studying to working. That’s not entirely wrong but it’s not my main reason of going to graduate school, it’s just a bonus. Thus, I put a lot into account before I apply for the scholarship and to the university. I had done a lot of research before I decide which school I’d apply to. I visit every one of their websites and reading every modules they offer. Post graduate is a big deal, I didn’t want to choose the wrong program in the wrong university just because it sit on the top rank and/or located in my dream city. Especially when I’m fully funded by my country’s taxpayers’ money. I might not be the most noble or “nationalist” person there is, but if I did do that it wouldn’t be fair for them and for me as well. Because I wouldn’t study the subject that I really want to study or that I’m not really good at. I could try, but I can’t guarantee a good outcome. And I don’t want that. Passion is quite overrated and I refrain myself from using that word but what I’ve chosen now is pretty close to it. I know what I choose would benefit me at least and might benefit others in any way (who knows? But finger-crossed)

By writing this I’m not saying that I chose a low level school whatsoever. It’s a long-established and prominent university in the UK. It might not sit on the very top of the university rank (it’s on the list), but it offers the program that suits me best. Of course some people will keep turning the blind-eye and that’s fine. I don’t need anybody’s approval but myself. I know what’s best for me and Ivy League wasn’t one.

Going The Distance

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Lots of people have been asking my boyfriend and I how in the world do we stand being in the dreaded long distance relationship for a significant amount of time. Well, before I start I guess I have to tell a little bit about our relationship. Haries and I started dating at the end of 2012, November to be exact. That means we’ve been dating for almost 3 years by now. Of those 3 years of being together, only LESS than a quarter of that time are spent literally together, like physically together. We’ve been on a long distance relationship even from the very start of this relationship. I was still completing my bachelor degree in Jogjakarta while he was still pursuing his bachelor degree in Melbourne AND went to Boston for a student exchange program. It didn’t stop there, upon completing our bachelor degree, he decided to stay put in Melbourne to apply for permanent residency of Australia while I decided to try working at a multinational company in Batam. Long story short, the LDR continues up until now and for at least a year from now since I’ll be leaving for Birmingham in less than 3 weeks.

We came across plenty of doubts toward the relationship that we’re in although not few admire us for our persistence and asking for some tips to go through this unfavorable kind of relationship. Here’s the thing, I don’t mean to belittle and underestimate those who are not in an LDR but, LDR is indeed hard and not for the weak. And if you ask for tips, I’m not sure there are some ultimate tips for a successful LDR since every couple consists of unique and different kind of individuals. What works for us might not work for other couple so I always try to refrain from giving the so-called LDR tips.

As for us, we try to always stick to our commitment that we will stay together no matter what obstacles we face and distance is one of them. It’s just like any other relationships that have their own other problem and it just so happens that our biggest problem is the bloody distance. It’s harder yes, but not impossible to work. And since we already had the commitment, we would not give up so easily. Hence, it goes without saying that commitment is the key to any successful relationship, long distance or not.

That’s Just What We Do

A couple years ago, back in university, my lecturer said to the students, “People will judge, no matter what. Because that’s what they-and we-do.” His words hit me. I know I often find people who said “Don’t judge me, you don’t know me”, I’ve said it too, most people may have said it too. But, when I think about it, I realized that I judge too. I can’t avoid it. It’s natural. People will always judge.

It’s natural for people to judge. So long as we realized that there’s a chance that our judgment might be wrong and thus, should not treat people based on this uncertain judgment of ours. There  might be gazillions of reason behind every single action that we do. We just got to keep doing what we believe is right and give no shit to what people think because even when we’re doing the right thing people will judge anyway, because that’s just what we do. We don’t have to explain ourselves, let’s our actions do that for us.

*Reproduced from my old blog’s entry