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Five Freakin’ Years.

Exactly today 5 years ago, this silly guy, who was 3000 miles away, asked me to be his girlfriend over Skype. It’s been five freakin’ years.  Haries & I honestly cannot fathom how fast time flies. Before we even begin to comprehend, here we are in the fifth year of our long distance relationship.

Yup, for five freakin’ years, we’ve been separated by this dreadful distance and managed to stay together. It’s not a miracle, really. At least for us. Because we knew from the very beginning what we were getting into. Although we obviously want to abolish this distance soon. Very soon.

If I look back, despite our predicament (i.e. the distance), we’ve had such a great time. We’ve been lucky enough to be able to visit each other quite often, traveled to some amazing destinations of our dreams, visited some cool places, ate a bunch of great foods. Just to name few.

We started dating as hopeful uni students who were trying to figure things out. And now we’re this grown-up couple who are also still trying to figure this whole adulting thing out.  Over the course of 5 years, there’s so much we’ve been through. We witness each other’s important milestones, the struggles, the success, the failures. All the while being physically apart. And all those things have allowed me to learn things about relationship as well as a whole new perspective towards life. And now I’d share a few of them.

5 Things I Learned From My 5 Years Relationship

1. Sharing the same vision is important

Lasting relationships are built on a shared vision of what kind of future both parties want to have. It doesn’t always mean having the exact same vision, but having ones that are compatible. It is important because that’s what keeps us going in a time of hardships. Relationship, especially a long distance one, is not always a walk in a park. Often times we are faced with obstacles that might force us to quit. But the shared vision of our future is one of the things that keeps us going.


2. Communication is the key

For a long distance relationship couple, communication is all the more important because we don’t get to meet each other every day (not even every month!). Thus it is important for us to squeeze a little time amidst our busy schedule to talk. Every minute counts, so we won’t feel bad even if we only have 5 minutes to talk. Most of the time we even only have time to chat via message, which is also fine. As long as we keep the communication alive so we won’t grow apart.


3. Nobody’s perfect

My boyfriend is not perfect. As I am. There are some of my traits that I’m sure he wants to change. And vice versa. And we are fine with that. We don’t have to like everything about each other. Once we learned and accepted that we are not perfect, we also learn to love each other’s imperfectness. Or at least learn to see past that.


4. Love changes

Over time our relationship grows and matures as we do and it changes our relationship for the better. What was once an intense, fiery love is replaced by a more laid-back and low profile love. Gone are the nights when we use to chat for four hours straight over the phone (mind the time differences) or boasting about our relationship on every platform available. And it is not a bad thing because love changes. As we got older our love evolved into a more nurturing, intimate, and understanding.


5. Sometimes it’s okay to go to sleep upset

There’s a famous relationship saying “Don’t go to sleep mad at each other.” While this is a sound advice and actually really makes sense, it’s not always easy to do and even bring an unfavorable outcome. We used to try to always implement this advice whenever we were having an argument, but in some cases, it doesn’t really work for us. Sometimes it just worsens the situation when we try to keep arguing when we’re still heated with anger.  It’s not really practical as well. Sometimes it’s better to take a break (by sleeping) and try to resolve the problem in the morning when everyone is well-rested and the anger has faded.


Now tell me, what have you learn from relationships?

 

  • Totally agree with these! Long term relationships are actually a lot of hard work (as oppose to what most people think) and there are a loooot of learning along the way. 🙂

    Happy anniversary to the both of you!
    xx jhanzey.net

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